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If I am being honest it’s been a bit tough..

If I am being honest it’s been a bit tough..

When someone asks “how are you?” as British people we tend to nod, smile and say “yeh not bad thanks”. But what about those times when that isn’t how we feel, when your body is screaming give up, your lungs just can’t get the air in they need and all you want to do is curl up and say see you later world?! I am not one for living in a place of feeling rubbish, where it’s dark and everything…

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Let’s just pause…

Let’s just pause…

I know I only shared a post last night but this morning sat over a green tea watching the world go by I have been struck by another thought I wanted to share. Maybe we just need to slow down. Now don’t start with the, ‘but I don’t have time to slow down’ or i just have so much to get done today’ excuses. Because actually will the world stop if you don’t do that load of laundry or will…

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All the best things come in threes…

All the best things come in threes…

What do you say when your daughter says “mummy will you better soon? You have been poorly for such a long time now” What do you do when you have had a week knowing that this is the path God has placed you on, it’s been positive and then you get hit by a curveball! What do you do when all you want to do is give up or go back to a time when life was so much simpler,…

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An afternoon watching Frozen…

An afternoon watching Frozen…

The last few weeks haven’t been easy. I am waiting for bloods and tissue results that show mutations in them, the more mutations the more likely they are to have a trial for me. Treatment has been stopped for now, because if I have treatment I then can’t go into a trial but equally living in this limbo isn’t the easiest place to be as it is here that you listen to those voices of negativity, you question the path…

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Do one now ……..

Do one now ……..

And sometimes I think that’s enough now • sorry this post may be a bit of a whinge but every now and then I reach that stage where I think; this is not what I signed up for • I am blessed and that I am more than aware of, but I would like a day where I am not fearful, I am not fighting and something seems to go my way • I really hate cancer • it has…

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In the midst of the battle …..

In the midst of the battle …..

Lots of things happening at the moment… First an update for those of you who I haven’t seen to speak too. My chemo is no longer working for me and it has now spread to my ovaries, with my lungs getting worse and a new growth on my liver. Obviously this wasn’t the news I wanted but I am still here, being a mummy, wife, sister, daughter and friend so I am not going to panic just yet.If I had…

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Believe and trust ……..

Believe and trust ……..

So today hasn’t been the day I hoped for • lots of facts but not a lot of truth • I appreciate that doctors see things one way, and I think today just felt like another hit from a horrible disease • it has left me feeling quite rubbish and full of fear • I will need sometime to pick myself up, dust off those facts and find the truth that I know is there just for me • When…

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Under His wings ……….

Under His wings ……….

Ever onwards and as I head into today I know that God has me tucked under His wings. • I don’t know why this is the verse He keeps giving me but He knew the path before me four years ago when He first prompted this verse in my heart • and then four years later this is how I try to walk everyday • Hope at times of chaos isn’t easy but it is the best way to face…

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I’m just me ……..

I’m just me ……..

Short post I hope… Sat at Rosemere waiting for the results of my bloods • I really struggle sometimes when people say how amazing I am or what an inspiration I am to know what to say back to them. • I am simply me just doing what anyone would do in this situation • no it isn’t always easy; and it comes with sacrifices as well as fear • but as I have sat in the Rosemere waiting area…

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No rush ………

No rush ………

 wanted to post tonight because I have felt like God has been talking to me all day • so often in this battle I go through each day feeling like I am so distant from my faith • and then I have a day where He just draws me back in and reminds me of all of his promises and who He is! Today I shared with a friend a feeling that God had placed on my heart • He…

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