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Month: April 2019

Waiting and fear ……..

Waiting and fear ……..

When life chucks fear and negativity at you; what can you do?! • In your own strength there is nothing you can do. I have struggled with that fear and negativity yesterday but once again have decided to look at that fear in the face and for what it is • it is an attack from the enemy in this battle that I am fighting • since I have not been given a spirit of fear from God I must…

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Where’s my head at ……….

Where’s my head at ……….

So today was exactly what I thought it was going to be and kind of hoped it wouldn’t be •I saw my consultant and got some bad news. They think the swelling I have had recently under a lymph node could show that there has been a negative change in my circumstances • my blood cancer marker is also rising and is now above that from when I was diagnosed • On a day like today your head space is…

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Its the people around you ….

Its the people around you ….

• yesterday was a draining day; I had a swelling in my neck around a lymph node. I know this lymph node is probably infected but I wanted to make sure my picc line hadn’t moved so in I went to the hospital • I really dislike hospitals as many of us do • I feel like they are filled with doom & a sense of hopelessness (not the combination you want when you are apprehensive or fearful) • however…

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The way forward ……

The way forward ……

Today was chemo day. As always I was sat with someone who has the same diagnosis as me.Once again I believe this is no coincidence. While I am in this place I am being able to speak about my faith & what I believe is the best way forward in all of this. How our bodies often mirror what our mind is saying. How we tackle this thing inside us that doesn’t belong. How we look it in the eye…

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The Cross ……

The Cross ……

This year this cross has more significance to me than ever before • He died on that cross for me; to forgive all my sins and to HEAL me • He took on the sins of the world • It was dark and then the son of the world lit up the darkness so that there would be no more if we make that choice to follow Him • I truly believe that through my journey His glory will be…

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Game of Thrones

Game of Thrones

Watching Game of Thrones with my wonderful husband.The opening scene had to make smile. The queen makes her way into the castle in the north. The locals look at her with such hostility and contempt.Then her dragons come into view and fly over her and the crowds. A little smile spreads over her face. Tonight it made me realise that this is the type of power I have behind me. I am surrounded on all sides by what appears to…

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No umph and yet …….

No umph and yet …….

Today was amazing.This last week I have had some negative thoughts, as ever I know that they do not not come from the God that I believe in. He does not give a spirit of fear! But today made me realise that I can do all things through Him that gives me strength. I took the girls to the Sea Life Centre in Manchester and then we went for lunch and a quick shop in the Trafford centre. I have…

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Chemo again …….

Chemo again …….

So in chemo again today, & once again I am amazed at just how God is using all of this for His glory! In the middle ground I find myself in, surrounded by a situation not of my creation or His, He gently reminds me that I am not alone and I can have a wonderful impact on those around me.I have once again met a lovely couple, and as usual the person sat next to me has the same…

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There’s a lot of ‘stuff’…….

There’s a lot of ‘stuff’…….

This is part of the stuff supporting my body in this process • notice I am not saying it will cure me (Only God can heal me) • but boy does it help me. So what do we have here; we have apricot kernels (yes they contain cyanide but limit how many I take a day),vitamin D & vitamin K (good for my bones),milk thistle (good to cleanse the liver of toxins)Turmeric (just a great root!)Asparagus juice (really great at…

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Treatment …

Treatment …

So what is happening with me treatment wise; in all of this I am focusing on my faith because I know it is what brings my healing but equally I have to go through the fires on this journey. The last lot of chemo is taking it’s toll on me in terms of being more tired than normal, and the side effects are more prominent than the last lot of drugs. I could manage losing my hair as it is…

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