I haven’t written in a while & it’s not down to anything being wrong or worse! It’s purely down to getting a virus (bound to happen with three girls!) so I have been ill in bed for a number of days plus it meant my bloods weren’t quite right to have chemo on Monday which was a bit rubbish.
However looking at it from a faith perspective (not my human response) I realised that maybe this could be a teaching lesson from God. When in doubt what does he want me to learn through this?!
For me I felt that God was teaching me, that sometimes it is about faith & receiving his word not relying on my five senses and how I feel about something.
I have spent the past 15 rounds of chemo thinking great, my faith & these drugs are going to bring about my healing. But I think by not having it this week, I heard from God saying you only need me & the power inside you given by Jesus Christ! It is so easy to trust in human things that we can see but trusting completely in God is not as quick to be trusted! It did take me by surprise to be told sorry not this week, as my first thought was ‘oh no it will grow’ but that isn’t true. I believe I am healed & therefore my trust, belief and future is in his hands. Isaiah 58:8-9 says it perfectly,
““Then your salvation will come like the dawn, and your wounds will quickly heal. Your godliness will lead you forward, and the glory of the Lord will protect you from behind.”
“Then when you call, the Lord will answer. ‘Yes, I am here,’ he will quickly reply.
I have as ever been so supported this week, when I had my bad thoughts (the enemy thinks he is being defeated and he is terrified!) my beautiful family and friends pull me through! I have so many like minded people full of faith around me, I get so blessed hearing from them all!
I am learning not to live by my feelings but to live in total faith. It isn’t always easy in this battle but it is always worth it! I will not live any other way through this battle. The Lord is my leader in this battle, and He has given me the POWER to receive my healing. I do not underestimate how powerful this is, and no wonder I have those bad thoughts, the enemy is terrified when I step more and more into my healing. Standing firm on the words that I have been given in the bible is the way through. I will not be swayed by negative thoughts. I will not be moved from what is promised to me and receiving it.
As someone has just preached at church, holding onto His promises is the way forward, I know that not looking around at the situation which is a missed chemo week but at trusting full force in His WORD! What a blessing it is!